Daughter of Sheena (13)

Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Daughter of Sheena-13
Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

… The next morning, Samad again started looking for job. He did not find any in Qayesh. He had to go to Razan. He packed his hold-all and went to Tehran, when he also couldn’t find any job in Razan.
"I’ve found a good job.” A few days later he came back and said, “I should start it these very days. I’ve just come to inform you. Such a pity I cannot stay in at holidays of Nowruz. I can’t win."
I got upset very much. "I've planning for this year Nowruz.” I objected, “Don’t go."
Samad felt upset more than me. "I have no choice.” He said, “How long should my parents pay our expense. I am really embarrassed. I cannot tolerate this situation anymore. I must work myself. We must eat our own bread."
Samad went and I spent that Nowruz lonely, which was the first Nowruz after our wedding. It was hard days. Every night, with cry and a lump in my throat, I put my head on the pillow. I also dreamed Samad every night. When I saw other brides, who went to relatives’ home with their husband shoulder to shoulder and got bonus, hardly I could stop my crying.
Farvardin had been finished, Ordibehesht had arrived and the air smelled of blossoms and flowers. It was as if God had sprinkled all his green color over the Qayesh grounds.
One day I was busy with house work, when Moses, the little brother of Samad, shouted from alley.
“Brother Samad has come!”
I did not know how I came down the stairs barefooted. I took a cloth from clothesline in the center of courtyard, threw it over my head and ran into the alley. Samad had come. Laughing, he was running toward me. He carried two large hold-all too. We got to each other in center of alley. We stopped and stared at each other, eye to eye. Tears gathered in his eyes. I felt crying too. Suddenly we burst into laughter. Tear and laughter had been mixed up.
We had forgotten to say hello. Shoulder to shoulder, we moved off and reached to courtyard. Samad gave me one of the hold-alls, when we reached in front of our room. "I bring this for you.” He said, “carry it to our room."
Households, who were noticed of his coming, came to welcome him. All gathered in the courtyard and after greeting and kissing, we all went into my mother-in-law’s room. Samad put the hold-all on the ground. We all sat together and asked him about his circumstances. He had become cement worker, and was busy working on the half-built building.
After a while, he opened his hold-all and divided some gifts between his parents and his siblings.
He had brought everything. From scarves and shawls to blouses and pants, shoes and umbrella. Seen my hold-all from behind the window, Kobra was insisting and said: "Qadamkheyr, you also go and bring your souvenirs."
I would feel ashamed. I was afraid that Samad brought me something which might not good to be seen by his brothers. I said "Later." My sister-in-law found out and didn’t follow it anymore.
Samad insisted that I open the hold-all sooner, when we went to our room. Really he had spared no expenses. He had bought me some scarves and skirts and dresses. Also he had bought Chador fabrics, pants and pajamas fabrics; even scissors, sewing supplies, soap and hairpin; so that the hold-all was closed with difficulty. "What's going on,” I said, “have you gone to Mecca?!"
"You’re welcome. I know that you are work hard in our house; housewifery for ten or twelve people is not an easy task. It’s not worth to mention it."
I said, "I should, really it’s very much."
He smiled and continued: "I pledged myself that every day I buy something for you, the first day I went to Tehran. Each of these has a story. Now tell me, you like which of them more?"
All the things he had bought me were beautiful. I could not say this one is better than that one. “All of them are beautiful.” I said, “Thank you very much.”
He insisted. "No… please Qadamkheyr. Tell me you like which of them more?"
I looked at all again. Honestly, the pajamas fabrics were something else. I said, “These are the most beautiful."
Happily he stood and said, "If you know I was on what mood when I bought these fabrics! I had missed you so much on that day. I bought them more passionately. That day, I had missed you so much that I wanted to quit my job and come to see you."
Then, he looked down, so I can’t see his wet eyes.
From that night parties began, which had hold due to Samad’s return. We were invited by relatives who informed that Samad has return. My husband's sister, Shahla; Shirin jan; my sisters and sisters-in-law.
Samad accepted all invitation with openness. We were the guest of this relative or another late at nights, and we told and laughed. Then, reaching to our home, Samad spoke to me. "These parties have caused me seeing you less.” He said, “You sit between women and I can’t see you. I miss you. In these few days that I am here, I must value you more. I’ll feel sorry when I go later. I’ll feel sad why I did not look at you much; why I did not talk more with you."
This happiness didn’t last more than one week. Samad went at weekend. It was evening when he went. I stayed in my room until night and cried.
Looking around my room, I remembered him. Everything had his smell. I wasn’t in the mood for anybody and anything. I was waiting for someone to tell something to me and I had my cry out. I sensed lonely due to Samad’s leave. I had yearned for my Haj Agha. I had missed my Shirin jan. I threw the quilt over my head which smelled of Samad. I had missed my childhood house. Hey... hey ... Haj Agha how could you bring yourself to leave your daughter alone, like this?! Why don’t you pay me a visit? Hey ... hey ... Shirin jan, why don’t you ask me how I’m doing?!
That night, under the quilt, I cried and talked to myself so much that I fell asleep.

To be continued…