Daughter of Sheena (14)

Behnaz Zarrabizadeh

Daughter of Sheena-14
Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi Kanaan
Wife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi Hajir
Memory writer: Behnaz Zarrabizadeh
Tehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)
Translated by Zahra Hosseinian

… In the morning I was more impatient than the day before. I had been touchy, as if all people were stranger to me. I wanted to go to my father’s house; but I went for the twins. I changed their diapers and clothed them with clean clothes. When my mother-in-law went out, I gave milk to twins, put them to sleep, and cooked lunch. Then, I washed dishes of last night dinner and swept the house. I hugged twins and brought them to my room. My house works were begun again after lunch; washing dishes, cooking dinner, sweeping the courtyard and taking care of the twins. I had been so tired that I fell asleep early in the evening.
As if it had been morning. I jumped out of my bed in shock. I drew aside the curtain by habit. Sky had been lightened. Now what should I do. Breads had been baked and the mouth of tandoor had been covered too. Why I had overslept. Why I couldn’t wake up on time. Now how I explained to my mother-in-law. I came to think of it, I found out that I didn’t feel up to quarrel with her. So, throwing my Chador over my head, I ran toward my father’s house quietly.
I burst into tears, as I saw Shirin jan in the courtyard. My father was at home. "What's wrong?” my father said as he saw me, “Who has offended you? Has anybody said something to you? Is anything wrong? Why are you crying?"
I could not speak. I just cried continuously. It was like this house had remembered me the past. I had missed the days gone by. Nobody knew what wrong with me. I felt embarrassed to say I have missed my husband; I can’t bear loneliness; and I want to stay in your house, now that Samad isn’t here.
A week elapsed, since I had gone to my father’s house. Although I missed Samad, but presence of my parents and seeing my siblings calmed me. One day the door was opened and Samad came in. I looked at him astonished. I could not believe that he has come. At first I felt bad. I sensed he gave me a row, or threw tantrum because I’ve come to my father’s home. But he was like always, laughing and greeting me. He told about his nostalgia and how much he had been worried about me. "I felt perhaps something bad has happened that I push the panic button.” He said, “and every night I’m dreaming a bad dream."
Shortly after, my parents came. He greeted with them. Then he turned to me and said: "Qadamkheyr, let’s go."
"Stay here tonight." I said.
He bit his lips and said, "No, let’s go."
I threw my Chador over my head; said goodbye to my parents, and accompanied by Samad came out of my father’s house. In the way, he spoke with me and laughed. The village was a small community and the news quickly spread. Everyone knew that I have come to my parents’ home without saying goodbye to my husband’s family, since a week ago. Therefore, they looked at us in surprise, when they saw me and Samad together and jolly. Nobody expected that Samad met me like this. I also thought that he didn’t know about this event. When we arrived at the front door of home, he stopped and gently said: "Qadamkheyr, honey, mum’s the word. As if nothing has happened. Behave very normal and greet them as always. I've spoken with all my people and said that I fetch you, and no one should say anything. Ok?"
I breathed a sigh of relief and we entered the house. I behaved just like what Samad had asked me. My mother and father-in-law did not say anything to my face. Later we went to our room. Samad brought his hold-all, which was on the corner of the room. "See what I’ve brought for you.” He opened it with joy and said.
I said: "again, you go to a lot of trouble.”
"Don’t mention it!” He smiled and said, "You’re welcome, my darling.”
I spent the best days of my life on that two or three days that Samad was with me. He didn’t allow me to do anything. "You just sit down beside me,” He said, “and speak. I missed you.”
Every day and night we were the guest of our relatives and often went back to our home just for sleeping. Little by little the neighbors, friends, and relatives circulated that: "Good for you Qadamkheyr, Samad loves you very much.”
These words made me happy as a sand boy, but that two or three days elapsed like the wind.
The afternoon of his going day, Samad told me that: “Qadamkheyr, my darling, I’m leaving, but I want my mind to be at ease about you. If you feel comfortable here, stay; but if you’re thinking that you get into difficulty in my parent’s house, go to your father’s. My condition is currently unknown. Perhaps I stay at Tehran a year or two. On the other hand, I have no suitable place there to take you; but I want you to know that I do my best to collect money sooner and build a house. If you want to go to your Haj Agha’s home, I accept it, go. I’ve talked with my parents too, they accept it too. Everything is up to your decision.”
I thought a little and said, "I want to go to my Haj Agha’s home. I feel nostalgia here and have hard time.”
Without batting an eye, he said: "So, collect your thing as I am here. It’s better to go there with me.”
I packed my hold-all, said goodbye to everyone peacefully, and went to my father's house. Samad entrusted me to them. Then, he said goodbye and left.
I felt bad by his going. I could not stand his distance anymore. He had brought kindness to perfection for me. I missed him more when I recalled his goodness. No man has ever behaved like this to his wife in our village. I heard about his goodness everywhere I went. Day by day, my attachment toward him increased. It was as if he had felt the same; because he appeared a week later again. "Qadamkheyr, what you have done with me!” He said, “I got agitated as soon as Thursday morning arrives. I think I’ll die if I don’t see you."
The same day he went to his mother’s house with my brother, and carried all our household goods and furniture to my father’s house, then arranged them in a room. That night was the first night that Samad slept in my father’s house. In our village, it wasn’t custom that the groom sleeps in his father-in-law’s house. In the morning, when we woke up, Samad felt ashamed to come out of the room.
I brought his breakfast and lunch into the room. At night, he clothed and said, "I'm going. Collect our things and carry them to my uncle’s house. I cannot live here. I felt ashamed of your father."
I just realized that I am pregnant the same day. I didn’t say anything to Samad. The next day I went to his uncle’s house. He lived alone. His wife had died several years ago. "Dear uncle, please act as a father to me and Samad.” I said, “For a while, we want to live with you.” Then, I told the story to him.
Samad’s uncle became happy and accepted my request with openness. I told the story to my parents too. They help me to collect my things and carried them to the house of Samad’s uncle. That night, his dear uncle entrusted his house to me. He gave me his keys and went to my mother-in-law’s house. He didn’t come back to his house until we leaved there.

To be continued…