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Little by little, other neighbors arrived and resided there. Company-provided and residential houses had located at the corner of barracks and were away from military zone.

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Sarpol-e Zahab was not the town that I thought. It was like a ruined village, with destroyed houses. It had no shops, or if there was, often it was put up shutters. Shutters had been warped by the blast or had been pierced.

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Early morning cries of Somayeh woke me up. She was hungry. I had to breastfeed her. She fell asleep as I got up and sat in my bed. Through the window I saw the sky was still dark. I looked at the clock; it was five and half.

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The same day, our third daughter was born at midnight. Next day I was discharged from the hospital. Samad had hugged Somayeh. He danced for joy; laughed and said: “This one is like me; pretty and cute.”

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This time he was punctual and came back home about twenty days later. He showed more affection than before. He took Mahdi wherever he went. “I know Mahdi is a naughty boy and bothers you.” He said. One day he hugged Mahdi as usual and took him, but they hadn’t still gone that I heard Mahdi’s crying from the alley.

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This was the first time that a week after his going I still hadn’t any control over my life. I had no inclination to do housework. I would always say myself: “Qadamkheyr! You said yes and now you must expect the worst.” I would get up from this corner of room and sit down on the other corner. I remembered Samad had sat down there the week before. This time we were eating lunch together.

Daughter of Sheena (39)

Daughter of Sheena-39Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian It was near noon. I was cooking food when Samad called me. It was clear that he felt ill. “Qadamkheyr! My shoulder gives me a lot of pain.” He said, “Come here and see what has happened.” I rolled his blouse up. His back had been black and blue in the size of a five Toman coin; so seeing it causes extreme grief in me. I remembered that it may be the residual of shrapnel of that grenade, when he was fighting with hypocrites (MKO members).I said: “It’s the shrapnel of that grenade.”He said: “Go and bring a hot safety pin.”I said: “What do you want to do?...

Daughter of Sheena (38)

Daughter of Sheena-38Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian We came to Hamadan. I had left my house a few months. Everywhere was dusty and dirty. I was busy dusting and sweeping until evening. Happily and smiling Samad came home at night. He put a key into my hand and said: “This is the key of our own house.” I kissed the key joyfully. Samad was looking at me and smiling. “Our house is ready.” He said, “Tomorrow morning we can move there.” Tomorrow morning we went to our house. We brought some furniture too. It was a beautiful house. It had two bedrooms and a small hall and kitchen. Toilet set was out, up the stair case,...

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Daughter of Sheena-37Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian Chapter FifteenMahdi had been a rotund, chubby and forty days baby. He had just learned how to laugh. Masumah and Khadija would sit next to him for hours, play with him and express their joy for his laughing and floundering. But we all were worried about Samad. We would send message for anyone whom we guessed might possibly be in touch with him, perhaps to be aware of his health. They said Samad involved in operations. That's it.Sheena would grieve for me when she saw my state. She said: “Don’t give milk to your baby in the state of grief. You’ll make him...

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Daughter of Sheena-36Memories of Qadamkheyr Mohammadi KanaanWife of Sardar Shaheed Haj Sattar Ebrahimi HajirMemory writer: Behnaz ZarrabizadehTehran, Sooreh Mehr Publications Company, 2011 (Persian Version)Translated by Zahra Hosseinian I was in the ninth month of my pregnancy. Samad came back home and stayed with me ten days. But as if the baby wouldn’t want to be born. We went to the doctor and the doctor said that baby wouldn’t bear at least one week later. Samad took us to Qayesh. “I’m going to back to the front.” He said, “I’ll return in three or four days.”As soon as Samad said goodbye, got into the car and left, the pain came to me. I wouldn’t want to believe it. This time Samad had promised me that he will be with me when my baby is bearing. So I had to endure. I had to wait...